The cheap motor insurance tour de force.
Bicycles are great aren't they cheap motor insurers? Whether they're used to transport cute extra terrestrials at the start of their home journey, or to circumnavigate your way around the mean streets of London - two wheels motivated via pedals is a step up from having to walk between places. Because as we know motors, cheaply insured or not, are perhaps inconvenient in the big smoke. Not quite as a teary-eyed cinematic vision, but sometimes the only means of getting around our country's capital for lots of people (cheap motor insurers on any other day) in a hurry. Unfortunately (for them) they've seem to upset Ken Livingstone. Actually, they've narked great numbers of people, who in fairness (to them) are not ken Livingstone. But they've snitched. They've whispered in the authoritarian lobe of the Mayor of London things that have made 'the all-powerful one' very cross indeed. So he's going to summon all his remaining vestiges of office, and generally throw his stoat-like weight around, again.
Haven given up on motorists for the time being; now that he's almost bled them dry, he's decided to target cyclists. Because he can. Because they use his roads on a daily basis, and this gets right under his skin. Plus, they're a damn sight easier to unbalance than motorists. Especially if they've had their stabilizers removed. The answer to his bike issue is simple; make riders display number plates. Wow. Is there no beginning to this mans talents? Compulsory registration is what's needed to curtail cyclist's flippancy on the roads apparently. This is what Livingstone squealed at a radio presenter on London station LBC the other day; "I'm now persuaded we should actually say that bikes and their owners should be registered. There should be a number plate on the back so that the ones breaking the law, we can get them off the cameras. It's the only way you can do it." What a fantastic idea. Now Kenneth, will it be the classic, almost timeless embroidery type-motif? Or will it be the bang up-to-the-minute reflective materials favoured? Will they have different weights of garment to wear, dependant on the season? The questions are endless.
Incidentally, in my town there's this mad woman who walks around in a chunky-knit sweater with the number 30 sewn into its fabric. Predominantly wool I think. Or possibly a man-made-fibre alternative. 50% this. 25% that. And the rest something else. It's an exact replica of the famous number 30 (complete with circular frame) that appears in countless editions of the Highway Code. It's her mission in life. She encourages drivers to slow down. Enough to stare at her anyway. And that's the point. She's weird. And you'll look just as weird with some tribal markings scrawled onto the back of your parka. The reason behind the London debacle is this. Disgruntled drivers and pedestrians are cheesed off that cyclists are seemingly getting away with shooting red lights. And riding on the pavements. Which of course are two things you never see a motorist doing. Hence Red Ken considering this private bill to push legislation through. He stops short of saying cyclists will be charged mind, by way of registering their bikes. Although you cant rule anything out when Ken's on one. The number of cyclist in London has increased by a staggering 50% in the past 5 years alone, and it's estimated that 450,000 journeys are made by bicycle each day in the capital.
However, if you think this whole concept is mental, wait till you get a load of this. Livingstone is giving *serious thought about introducing a 'Jaywalking' offence. As is in the US. Jaywalking is what Americans call dilly-dallying in the road. So this would make crossing the road illegal. Anywhere other than where there's a specified crossing, accompanied by a green light anyhow. Green light. That's what we here at the home of cheap motor insurance give to our thousands of clients every day. The nod as it were on their cheap motor insurance policies. And then you're off - happy in the knowledge you've got the best cheap motor insurance deal that there is. Which is the only bit of this article that will make any sense to you whatsoever I reckon.
*serious - something that isn't laughable. Probably very important. In no way amusing.
Date - 21/09/2006
